Having it all

Having it all.

When I was little, yes very little,

I dreamed of being some crazy successful

attorney who would put bad people in jail

and make the color orange illegal

(it's true, I hated orange. HATED. It has since become one of my faves...

funny how things change).

I thought I would go away to Harvard or maybe Stanford

And live in some big fancy city.

I'd have a driver

And a doorman.

I'd have a cook to make me real mac n cheese with bacon sandwiches

I'd live in an apartment with floor to ceiling windows.

I'd go on vacations to the beach

and be super skinny

and be funny, too.

I'd have long flowing hair that sparkled in the sun...

And no...I didn't watch Bethanny Frankel when I was 7.

She was only 11 and still had a pube-do and no money.

Back to me.

Then....

I met a boy.

Who today is my husband and the amazing dad to my kids.

I don't practice law.

Instead, I get paid to communicate.

I help people understand why coming to work
everyday is worth their time.

Most days I believe what I'm telling them.

Somedays I need to convince even myself.

It's a thankless job but one that I'm damn good at.

I do however, practice mommyhood.

Every dang day,
I practice at getting better at being "mom."

I also practice being a better human.

A giving, kind, charitable human.

Which lately has me very busy.

Friends, today I'm looking for someone

The someone who convinced me I could have it all.

Who the hell was she and what was she smokin'

Maybe she had a doorman?

And someone who made her mac n cheese.

But she's not like me because in the midst of being

supremely pissed off about trying to live up to this "dream"

I think she left a major caveat out
of her whole dreamy thought. 

Here's my thinking...

Stick with me it's not that complicated.

Maybe it is possible to have it all...

 But perhaps where I'm tripping over myself

 is believing that I can have it all,

all at the same time.

Yeah...

THAT'S IT!  

I can be a freaking hard core communicator

And a completely amazing mom

but not at the same time.

I can be a kick ass wife

and a rock star volunteer

on different days

but not at the same time

(unless I'm volunteering for Frankie-the man)

It's simply not possible...

So today, I'll just keep practicing being

amazing and awesome

and I'll get better each day

at one thing at a time.

P.S. No...I did not take the picture of myself

flying through the air with my cape.

I couldn't be awesome and a photographer but not at the same time.